Dr. Habiba Jessica Zaman is a psychologist, author, and entrepreneur whose work has influenced conversations around trauma, identity, self-awareness, and personal transformation. She is the founder and owner of North Star of Georgia Counseling, where she integrates clinical expertise with advocacy and education to support individuals in achieving meaningful life changes. Zaman has more than 15 years of professional experience in counseling, life coaching, and therapeutic guidance, specializing in trauma and personal empowerment.
Over the course of her career, Zaman has authored 25 publications and nine books. Her work includes widely read titles focused on identity, resilience, motherhood, and relationships, such as Beautifully Bare, Undeniably You, Dear Time, Dear Love, and the You’ve Got This, Mama series. Zaman is also the creator of the I.D. ME Quiz is a self-assessment tool designed to help individuals evaluate their sense of identity and enhance self-awareness. Her insights have been featured across multiple media platforms, including podcast interviews on Douglas Coleman Podcast, The Expect Effect Podcast, Life Boss Podcast, and The Holistic Warrior Podcast, along with magazine and online features in Writer’s Life Magazine, Voyage Atlanta, and Forbes. Learn more about her work at Dr. Zaman’s professional site.
The Research Behind the Study
Attachment theory, first conceived by psychoanalytic therapist John Bowlby in 1969, defines how early relationships with caregivers shape patterns in close relationships throughout life. A secure base forms when the primary caregiver provides stability and safety in moments of stress, allowing the infant to explore the world while developing internal models of social interaction and a sense of self. When that secure base is established, children grow into adults with healthy responses to stress, strong interpersonal skills, and the capacity for healthy social engagement. When it is not, dysfunctional attachment behaviors evolve to compensate, and those patterns continue into adulthood.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is associated with emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, and relational instability. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) involves detachment, antagonism, and a lack of empathy that can impair a child’s developing sense of self and ability to form secure relationships. Longitudinal studies confirm that children of parents with these traits often develop insecure attachment styles and struggle with emotional regulation and intimacy.
Although recent studies have explored correlations between adverse childhood experiences and mental disorders with attachment as a variable, few have focused on the general adult population. Existing research centers on childhood and adolescent outcomes but rarely follows attachment patterns into later life. This mixed-methods pilot study set out to fill that gap by examining the long-term impact of recalled parental NPD or BPD traits on attachment styles and adult interpersonal relationships.
What the Findings Revealed
The study recruited 175 participants ranging in age from 18 to 77, with 172 completing the full battery of questionnaires. Of those, 89 reported parental personality disorder traits. Attachment styles among participants skewed heavily toward two ends of the spectrum, with 81 showing disorganized patterns and 80 showing secure patterns. Smaller groups exhibited anxious (9) or avoidant (2) styles.
Statistical analysis confirmed a positive correlation between higher levels of parental personality disorder traits and the presence of insecure attachment styles. The Chi-Square Test of Independence revealed a statistically significant association between these variables. Participants with no parental history of personality disorders were 60.7 percent more likely to develop a Secure Attachment Style. Those with a parental history of NPD traits were 52.6 percent more likely to evolve into a Disorganized Attachment Style, and those with a history of BPD traits showed a 57.7 percent increased likelihood of the same.
For the qualitative portion, 12 participants between the ages of 29 and 55 took part in semi-structured interviews about growing up with such caregivers. Nine recalled Narcissistic traits in their parents, and three reported Borderline traits. Their attachment styles were primarily disorganized or anxious. The interviews surfaced common patterns of fear of abandonment, commitment difficulties, guilt, shame, a need for validation, conflict resolution challenges, sensitivity to criticism, trust issues, and weak boundaries. Many participants traced these struggles directly to their childhood experiences.
Five major themes emerged from these conversations. The first centered on behavioral approaches and emotional patterns in current relationships, where unresolved childhood trauma surfaced as fear of abandonment, trust issues, and a constant need for validation. The second theme involved partner selection, with participants frequently choosing romantic partners whose traits mirrored those of a dysfunctional parent. The third explored the impact on participants’ sense of self, including struggles with boundaries, self-worth, and self-sacrifice. The fourth focused on maladaptive coping strategies such as avoidance, substance use, perfectionism, codependency, and extreme self-reliance. The final theme tracked the journey toward healing, where many participants found therapy and self-guided recovery essential to building healthier relationships.
The Most Surprising Discovery
The most striking part of the research was the magnitude of the statistical findings. While it was expected that the impact of parental NPD or BPD traits would carry into adult relationships, the specific percentages were sobering. A 52.6 percent greater likelihood of disorganized attachment for those with NPD-trait parents, and a 57.7 percent greater likelihood for those with BPD-trait parents, pointed to a far deeper imprint than even clinical experience suggests.
As a licensed clinician working in mental health and trauma, I have witnessed how these early experiences shape adult belief patterns and behavioral responses. Because so little scholarly research existed on these specific dynamics in adulthood, I wanted to bring this understanding into a broader view, both for the clinical community and for those who recognize themselves in the findings. The quantitative data offered a numerical foundation for the severity of the impact. The qualitative interviews revealed the lived experience behind those numbers.
The interviews captured how early family dynamics continue to shape intimacy, trust, self-expression, and conflict in adult relationships. Many participants described feeling trapped in cycles of emotional turmoil that mirrored their childhood. Some had partnered with people who reproduced parental dynamics. Others found themselves drawn into codependent or avoidant patterns even after recognizing where those patterns came from. Generational trauma, in their words, did not stay in the past. It reshaped how they parented, how they loved, and how they understood themselves.
How to Stop Generational Trauma
Understanding is the first step. Quantitative data on the persistence of insecure attachment patterns into adulthood expands what attachment theory can tell us about how these behaviors are transmitted across generations. Qualitative narratives reinforce that view by showing how disorganized, anxious, and avoidant patterns manifest in concrete relational difficulties later in life.
These findings have implications for clinical practice at every stage of life. Early intervention in pediatric, school, and family settings could draw on this research to identify children at risk and equip them with healthy coping skills before the patterns become entrenched. The diversity of participants in the study also points to the importance of culturally sensitive therapeutic approaches, since attachment wounds are experienced and expressed differently across cultures and faith traditions.
Doctors’ offices already use the PHQ-9 Depression Questionnaire as a screening tool when children reach adolescence. A modified version of the PID-5 Brief Form, used in this study, could complement that screening by surfacing perceived parental personality traits and informing earlier treatment planning. The Personality Inventory and the Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised assessment could also be incorporated into intake processes in clinical settings to help clinicians understand which areas of healing a patient may need to address.
Clinicians working with adult clients should remain aware of how parental personality disorder traits shape attachment and coping. Attachment-based therapeutic models such as Trauma-Focused Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Internal Family Systems can support clients in unpacking childhood wounds and reframing maladaptive coping mechanisms. These findings reinforce existing theories of attachment and trauma while pointing toward practical expansions in therapeutic approach and new directions for research into the interplay between childhood experience, attachment, and adult relationships.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. The research findings discussed reflect the results of a pilot study and should not be interpreted as a diagnosis or treatment recommendation for any individual. Readers experiencing mental health concerns or considering changes to their care should consult a licensed mental health professional.
