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In Honor of “Mental Health Awareness Month,” Meet Dr. Habiba Jessica Zaman, Mental Health Therapist Specializing in Trauma

Women's Journal Staff on May 2, 2026

Dr. Habiba Jessica Zaman is a psychologist, author, and entrepreneur whose work has influenced conversations around trauma, identity, self-awareness, and personal transformation. She is the founder and owner of North Star of Georgia Counseling, where she integrates clinical expertise with advocacy and education to support individuals in achieving meaningful life changes. Zaman has more than 15 years of professional experience in counseling, life coaching, and therapeutic guidance, specializing in trauma and personal empowerment.

Over the course of her career, Zaman has authored 25 publications and nine books. Her work includes widely read titles focused on identity, resilience, motherhood, and relationships, such as Beautifully Bare, Undeniably You, Dear Time, Dear Love, and the You’ve Got This, Mama series. Zaman is also the creator of the I.D. ME Quiz is a self-assessment tool designed to help individuals evaluate their sense of identity and enhance self-awareness. Her insights have been featured across multiple media platforms, including podcast interviews on Douglas Coleman Podcast, The Expect Effect Podcast, Life Boss Podcast, and The Holistic Warrior Podcast, along with magazine and online features in Writer’s Life Magazine, Voyage Atlanta, and Forbes. Learn more about her work at Dr. Zaman’s professional site.

The Research Behind the Study

Attachment theory, first conceived by psychoanalytic therapist John Bowlby in 1969, defines how early relationships with caregivers shape patterns in close relationships throughout life. A secure base forms when the primary caregiver provides stability and safety in moments of stress, allowing the infant to explore the world while developing internal models of social interaction and a sense of self. When that secure base is established, children grow into adults with healthy responses to stress, strong interpersonal skills, and the capacity for healthy social engagement. When it is not, dysfunctional attachment behaviors evolve to compensate, and those patterns continue into adulthood.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is associated with emotional dysregulation, fear of abandonment, and relational instability. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) involves detachment, antagonism, and a lack of empathy that can impair a child’s developing sense of self and ability to form secure relationships. Longitudinal studies confirm that children of parents with these traits often develop insecure attachment styles and struggle with emotional regulation and intimacy.

Although recent studies have explored correlations between adverse childhood experiences and mental disorders with attachment as a variable, few have focused on the general adult population. Existing research centers on childhood and adolescent outcomes but rarely follows attachment patterns into later life. This mixed-methods pilot study set out to fill that gap by examining the long-term impact of recalled parental NPD or BPD traits on attachment styles and adult interpersonal relationships.

Photo Courtesy: Mari Arnold Photography

What the Findings Revealed

The study recruited 175 participants ranging in age from 18 to 77, with 172 completing the full battery of questionnaires. Of those, 89 reported parental personality disorder traits. Attachment styles among participants skewed heavily toward two ends of the spectrum, with 81 showing disorganized patterns and 80 showing secure patterns. Smaller groups exhibited anxious (9) or avoidant (2) styles.

Statistical analysis confirmed a positive correlation between higher levels of parental personality disorder traits and the presence of insecure attachment styles. The Chi-Square Test of Independence revealed a statistically significant association between these variables. Participants with no parental history of personality disorders were 60.7 percent more likely to develop a Secure Attachment Style. Those with a parental history of NPD traits were 52.6 percent more likely to evolve into a Disorganized Attachment Style, and those with a history of BPD traits showed a 57.7 percent increased likelihood of the same.

For the qualitative portion, 12 participants between the ages of 29 and 55 took part in semi-structured interviews about growing up with such caregivers. Nine recalled Narcissistic traits in their parents, and three reported Borderline traits. Their attachment styles were primarily disorganized or anxious. The interviews surfaced common patterns of fear of abandonment, commitment difficulties, guilt, shame, a need for validation, conflict resolution challenges, sensitivity to criticism, trust issues, and weak boundaries. Many participants traced these struggles directly to their childhood experiences.

Five major themes emerged from these conversations. The first centered on behavioral approaches and emotional patterns in current relationships, where unresolved childhood trauma surfaced as fear of abandonment, trust issues, and a constant need for validation. The second theme involved partner selection, with participants frequently choosing romantic partners whose traits mirrored those of a dysfunctional parent. The third explored the impact on participants’ sense of self, including struggles with boundaries, self-worth, and self-sacrifice. The fourth focused on maladaptive coping strategies such as avoidance, substance use, perfectionism, codependency, and extreme self-reliance. The final theme tracked the journey toward healing, where many participants found therapy and self-guided recovery essential to building healthier relationships.

The Most Surprising Discovery

The most striking part of the research was the magnitude of the statistical findings. While it was expected that the impact of parental NPD or BPD traits would carry into adult relationships, the specific percentages were sobering. A 52.6 percent greater likelihood of disorganized attachment for those with NPD-trait parents, and a 57.7 percent greater likelihood for those with BPD-trait parents, pointed to a far deeper imprint than even clinical experience suggests.

As a licensed clinician working in mental health and trauma, I have witnessed how these early experiences shape adult belief patterns and behavioral responses. Because so little scholarly research existed on these specific dynamics in adulthood, I wanted to bring this understanding into a broader view, both for the clinical community and for those who recognize themselves in the findings. The quantitative data offered a numerical foundation for the severity of the impact. The qualitative interviews revealed the lived experience behind those numbers.

The interviews captured how early family dynamics continue to shape intimacy, trust, self-expression, and conflict in adult relationships. Many participants described feeling trapped in cycles of emotional turmoil that mirrored their childhood. Some had partnered with people who reproduced parental dynamics. Others found themselves drawn into codependent or avoidant patterns even after recognizing where those patterns came from. Generational trauma, in their words, did not stay in the past. It reshaped how they parented, how they loved, and how they understood themselves.

How to Stop Generational Trauma

Understanding is the first step. Quantitative data on the persistence of insecure attachment patterns into adulthood expands what attachment theory can tell us about how these behaviors are transmitted across generations. Qualitative narratives reinforce that view by showing how disorganized, anxious, and avoidant patterns manifest in concrete relational difficulties later in life.

These findings have implications for clinical practice at every stage of life. Early intervention in pediatric, school, and family settings could draw on this research to identify children at risk and equip them with healthy coping skills before the patterns become entrenched. The diversity of participants in the study also points to the importance of culturally sensitive therapeutic approaches, since attachment wounds are experienced and expressed differently across cultures and faith traditions.

Doctors’ offices already use the PHQ-9 Depression Questionnaire as a screening tool when children reach adolescence. A modified version of the PID-5 Brief Form, used in this study, could complement that screening by surfacing perceived parental personality traits and informing earlier treatment planning. The Personality Inventory and the Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised assessment could also be incorporated into intake processes in clinical settings to help clinicians understand which areas of healing a patient may need to address.

Clinicians working with adult clients should remain aware of how parental personality disorder traits shape attachment and coping. Attachment-based therapeutic models such as Trauma-Focused Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Internal Family Systems can support clients in unpacking childhood wounds and reframing maladaptive coping mechanisms. These findings reinforce existing theories of attachment and trauma while pointing toward practical expansions in therapeutic approach and new directions for research into the interplay between childhood experience, attachment, and adult relationships.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. The research findings discussed reflect the results of a pilot study and should not be interpreted as a diagnosis or treatment recommendation for any individual. Readers experiencing mental health concerns or considering changes to their care should consult a licensed mental health professional.

Carrie Farrell on What Actually Gets in the Way of Performance at Yale’s Women’s Mental Health Conference

Women's Journal Staff on May 2, 2026

On April 18, 2026, at the Women’s Mental Health Conference at Yale, Carrie Farrell gave a talk that stayed with people for a simple reason. It addressed something everyone deals with, but rarely breaks down clearly.

Her session, “Performance Disruption in High-Performing Individuals: Regulating Pressure, Processing Failure, and Reframing Perfectionism for Sustained Execution,” focused on what happens in the moments when performance slips, not in a big, dramatic way, but in small, repeated ways that start to add up.

Farrell works with people who are already performing at a high level. Athletes, students, professionals. People who are disciplined and capable. So her focus isn’t on getting people to try harder. It’s on what happens after something goes wrong.

Early in the session, she made a point that landed across the room.

Failure isn’t the issue. It’s how long it lingers.

In most high-pressure environments, mistakes don’t end when the moment passes. They carry forward. People replay them, question themselves, hesitate the next time they’re in a similar position. One mistake turns into five minutes of distraction. Five minutes turns into a drop in performance.

That’s what she calls performance disruption.

And it’s something most people have never been taught how to manage.

She broke it down in a way that felt straightforward. When something goes wrong, there’s a reaction. Physical, mental, emotional. Heart rate shifts, focus tightens, thoughts speed up. That response is normal. The problem is how long someone stays in it.

A lot of people are taught to “process” what happened, but she drew a line between reflection and getting stuck. Taking something useful from a mistake is different from sitting in it.

She also pushed back on how perfectionism is usually talked about.

In high-performing spaces, perfectionism isn’t always something people want to let go of. It’s tied to standards, identity, and how they see themselves. What she focused on instead was how perfectionism affects recovery. When it slows someone down after a mistake, it becomes a problem.

Her approach is centered on shortening that gap between mistake and reset.

Not ignoring what happened. Not pretending it didn’t matter. Just not letting it take over everything that comes after.

She walked through a simple structure people could use. Acknowledge what happened. Pull out what’s useful. Adjust. Move on. Then see what changes.

It wasn’t presented as something abstract. It was clear, repeatable, and easy to picture in real situations.

Her background adds weight to the way she teaches it. She’s spent years working with high-performing populations, including student-athletes across the country through her work with the NAIA. She also brings her own experience as a former Division I athlete whose career ended due to injury, which shows up in how she talks about pressure and disruption without overexplaining it.

At Yale, that perspective fit the room.

This wasn’t an audience that needed motivation. It was an audience that already operates under pressure. What they needed was something that made sense of what happens when that pressure starts to interfere with performance.

By the end of the session, the idea was clear.

The goal isn’t to avoid mistakes. That’s not realistic.

The goal is to not let one moment turn into a pattern.

That’s where performance either stabilizes or starts to slip.

Farrell’s work sits in a space that more institutions are starting to pay attention to, especially as conversations around burnout and performance continue to overlap. There’s a growing interest in how people sustain output over time without burning out in the process.

Her approach speaks directly to that.

This session, supported by Ni’ Nava & Associates, reflected the kind of programming more campuses are moving toward, where the focus is less on general inspiration and more on what people can actually apply in real time.

As more speakers enter academic spaces through platforms like SpeakFest 2026, Farrell is positioned well for the kinds of environments that expect both clarity and relevance.

She’s not trying to change how people define success.

She’s focused on what happens in between the moments that define it.

Birgitta Visser, Soul Empowerment Coach Turning Trauma into Triumph

Women's Journal Staff on May 2, 2026

By: Shawn Mars

Birgitta Visser is a Soul Empowerment Coach and Divine Channel, tuning into higher frequencies and sharing messages from Light Beings and Master Teachers. Through her Light Language Healing practice, she works with light codes intended to support those seeking alignment with their soul’s purpose. Having overcome significant abuse and trauma, Birgitta has emerged out of the darkness into the light of self-love and spiritual awakening, embodying authenticity and truth in both her life and her work. She shares her wisdom and insights, walking alongside others on their own healing journeys toward empowerment and enlightenment.

How did you become a Soul Empowerment Coach?

I’ve learned to walk through fire, so I can guide others safely across. It wasn’t ambition that forged this path; it was trauma, and a bucketload of it. Abuse, loss, bullying, grief, each a thread in the weaving of my awakening. At fourteen, I lost my father. In high school, I was mocked for my tall, skinny frame, the cruelty carving deep wounds I buried beneath a smile. By twenty-five, my stepdad John was gone, and I was drowning in drugs, chasing numbness, wearing the mask of the “happy penguin” everyone expected. The pain didn’t vanish. It mutated into eating disorders, toxic relationships, and a nomadic life of over 60 moves, running from myself while the real prison was within. Hitting rock bottom became my foundation.

One day, exhausted, I stopped as I realized: “You are not broken. You are forgotten.” Healing wasn’t about fixing. I had to remember who I was before the world told me who to be. I dove into meditation, breathwork, shadow work. At The Art of Living in Bangalore, I discovered conscious breathing, where one intentional inhale could begin to soften years of numbness. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it,” Rumi reminded me. I studied many forms of energy healing, EFT, aromatherapy, light language, and vibration work, learning that every e-motion is energy in motion, and we choose which frequencies to amplify. Slowly, like a turtle shedding its shell, I returned to myself.

As St. Germain always says: “You are Love, you are Light, and you are a beautiful God wonder encapsulated in an organic meat suit, gracing your presence through the feat of your experiences on this blue planet called Earth.”

Your pain isn’t your prison; it’s your portal. Every wound was an initiation, not to break you, but to upgrade you. Today, I walk in freedom, not because the darkness is gone, but because I’ve embraced it as sacred fuel. I don’t offer solutions. I offer remembrance. You are enough. You always were. As the darkest nights birth the brightest stars, your soul has been preparing for this rise all along.

Photo Courtesy: Ana Laura

You have overcome significant abuse and trauma. What was your strength?

My strength, through years of abuse and trauma, wasn’t always noble or healthy. It was a raw, defiant survival instinct, a refusal to ever bow down to defeat. For years, this manifested as a frantic game of “whack-a-mole” with my emotions, where I starved myself and worked relentless hours to shush the screaming demons I was refusing to heal. My ego was firmly in the driver’s seat while my soul was “bound and gagged,” whilst I was going talk to the hand cause the face ain’t listening…

This precarious balance shattered in 2009 when I hit a devastating rock bottom, culminating in a traumatic event with a manipulative ex that involved the Dutch Crips, a ransom, and a death threat. In the stark aftermath, even a desperate cry for help left me with only a hollow reprieve. It was there, in that profound darkness, that I realized being told by a counsellor I was “strong enough” wasn’t going to cut it. My true, enduring strength was not in silencing the pain, but in finally finding the courage to listen to it, a turning point that led me from the disaster of traditional counselling to the path of Reiki.

As Caroline Myss once said, “You create your own healing or you create your own disease.”

I realized we are energy, and when we block our pain, it festers in the body, mind, and spirit. Healing didn’t come through words like “you’re strong enough.” I needed action, transformation. Reiki, self-love, and accountability became my new tools. I learned to pour love back into myself instead of pouring from an empty cup. My greatest strength? Resilience, not just to survive, but to choose healing again and again, to forgive, to let go, and to remember: “Life is the experiment you get to experience.” And me? I chose to hop out of the “oh why me syndrome”, because you cannot expect to be the Light, if you cannot walk in your Light.

How are you sharing your wisdom and insights, guiding others on their own healing journeys?

My process begins by meeting you exactly where you are, in that exhausting loop of pain and pretense you described. We start not by chasing “positive vibes,” but by courageously turning inward. “People don’t heal by pretending the darkness doesn’t exist,” I often say. “They heal by sitting with it, by acknowledging the wounds instead of dressing them up in denial.” I guide clients through a process of solution-focused reflection, asking powerful questions like, “What is this pain trying to teach you? Where have you given away your power?” This creates a conscious foundation. Then, for those drawn to a deeper, faster shift, I offer Light Language Frequency sessions. This isn’t mystical jargon; it’s a practice intended to work with vibrational frequencies that move beyond the limits of talk-based work. But the real work happens with you. I encourage clients to understand that “you cannot outsource your self-worth,” and that integration is everything. Those who engage most fully are the ones who actively journal, set boundaries, and stop abandoning themselves, treating healing not as a one-time event but as an ongoing practice. As I remind them, “The moment you stop outsourcing your worth is the moment your real life begins, returning home to the love and warmth of the hearth of yourself.”

You have co-authored several motivational works. What can we take away from these books?

These works include “Become Empowered: Echoes of Grace and Strength,” “I’m So Glad You Left Me,” “Divine Rebirth,” and “Miracles are Normal.” Though born from personal pain, love, loss, and transformation, they converge on a few profound themes: the sacred power of perspective, the resilience of the human spirit, and the divine potential within us all. We return again and again to the idea that life is not happening to us, it is happening through us.

Know that you are the creator of your reality, shaping life through your thoughts, emotions, and spiritual alignment.

Our awakening often arises from pain, because life can crack us open like a splat egg, allowing for the festered pain to seep out, in order for us to “kintsukuroi” ourselves through the art of healing.

Even loss can be a blessing in disguise, a necessary unravelling so we can weave ourselves back stronger, wiser, and more whole.

Each challenge, heartbreak, and ending is not a defeat, but an invitation, an echo of grace calling us back to ourselves. A recurring thread is the shift from living in the head, where fear and judgment reside, to living from the heart, where love, intuition, and miracles flow effortlessly.

“When we stop chasing life and start being in it, living in the moment, in the NOW, the universe begins to dance with you.”

These books are not about escaping suffering, but about alchemizing it, awakening to the truth that we are all expressions of the same divine light, temporarily shaped into human form. However you decide to heal, “The most important thing is to honour your own process and tune into what resonates with your spirit.”

Photo Courtesy: Birgitta Visser

What have you enjoyed the most working with women?

One of the most profound joys in working with women has been witnessing their courage to embrace vulnerability as a pathway to healing.

As Brené Brown so beautifully said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.”

In these sacred spaces, tears are not signs of weakness. They are acts of letting go. It’s a privilege to walk alongside women as they release what no longer serves them, remembering their inner strength and worth. Healing is not about fixing or saving anyone; it’s about creating room for truth, for love, for personal growth. As I’ve often reflected, “We can’t pour from an empty cup. We must first fill our own with love, compassion and care.” In healing what is broken, women rediscover their voice, their I AM power, and the radiant love that was always within. It’s not just renewal. It’s reawakening.

Power Soul Healing