Why Dr. Tracy Latz Thinks People Misunderstand Confidence
Confidence has become one of the most sought-after qualities in modern life.
People want to feel more confident at work, in relationships, during presentations, when making decisions, and when pursuing opportunities that matter to them. Entire industries have emerged around helping people become more confident, often promising quick mindset shifts, affirmations, or strategies designed to eliminate self-doubt.
Dr. Tracy Latz is not convinced that’s how confidence actually works.
After decades of working with patients, professionals, entrepreneurs, and leaders, she has reached a conclusion that surprises many people: confidence is rarely the starting point.
More often, confidence is the result.
“People tend to wait until they feel confident before they take action,” she says. “In reality, confidence usually develops after you’ve taken action enough times to create evidence that you can handle what happens.”
That distinction may seem small, but it changes the entire conversation.
Much of the advice people receive about confidence focuses on changing how they feel. The assumption is that if someone can improve their mindset, the confidence will follow. While mindset certainly matters, Dr. Latz believes many people become trapped waiting for a feeling that was never supposed to arrive first.
They tell themselves they’ll speak up when they’re more confident.
They’ll apply for the opportunity when they’re more confident.
They’ll start the business when they’re more confident.
They’ll make the change when they’re more confident.
Years can pass in that waiting period.
What often gets overlooked is that many of the people we perceive as confident did not begin that way. They developed confidence through repetition, experience, mistakes, and recovery. Their confidence wasn’t built because they avoided fear. It was built because they learned they could function despite it.
According to Dr. Latz, fear and confidence are not opposites.
Many highly successful people experience both simultaneously.
The executive giving a keynote presentation may still feel nervous before walking on stage. The entrepreneur launching a new venture may still question whether it will work. The physician making an important decision may still recognize uncertainty.
Confidence does not eliminate discomfort.
It changes someone’s relationship with it.
This perspective has become increasingly relevant in a culture where comparison is constant. Social media allows people to observe the polished highlights of other people’s lives while privately experiencing their own doubts and insecurities. The result is a distorted perception of confidence, where many assume they are the only ones struggling internally.
Dr. Latz frequently encounters this misconception in her work.
People often believe everyone else has figured something out that they haven’t. They assume successful individuals possess a level of certainty that they themselves are missing. Yet behind closed doors, many high achievers are wrestling with the same questions, fears, and uncertainties.
The difference is not necessarily confidence.
The difference is often willingness.
A willingness to act before certainty exists.
A willingness to be imperfect.
A willingness to learn publicly rather than waiting to become flawless privately.
That idea extends beyond professional success.
It influences relationships, leadership, personal growth, and mental health. Individuals who require certainty before taking action often find themselves stuck. Not because they lack capability, but because they have unintentionally made confidence a prerequisite rather than an outcome.
Dr. Latz believes this is particularly important for people who identify as perfectionists. Perfectionism often disguises itself as high standards, but underneath it is frequently a fear of making mistakes, being judged, or falling short of expectations.
When perfection becomes the goal, confidence becomes difficult to achieve.
After all, there is always another standard to meet.
Another improvement to make.
Another reason to wait.
By contrast, confidence tends to grow when people become comfortable being learners. Learners expect mistakes. Learners expect challenges. Learners understand that growth requires periods of uncertainty.
In many ways, confidence is less about believing everything will go well and more about trusting yourself to handle what happens if it doesn’t.
That is why Dr. Latz often encourages people to stop asking whether they feel confident enough and start asking a different question.
What evidence are they willing to create?
Because confidence, in her experience, is rarely found.
It’s built.
One decision, one attempt, one uncomfortable conversation, and one small act of courage at a time.
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