By: Michael Beas

In an era when leadership advice often reads like a playbook of toughness, grit, and unflinching resolve, Emily Erstad is offering a refreshing alternative. Her book, It’s Not That Deep: Navigating Leadership Through the Lens of Emotional Intelligence, challenges the notion that emotions should be sidelined at work. Instead, she argues, compassion, vulnerability, and authenticity are not only compatible with effective leadership—they’re essential.

For Erstad, this realization didn’t come from a textbook or leadership seminar. It emerged from an intensely human moment. Early in her career, she sat down with an employee who was failing to meet expectations. What could have been a standard performance conversation took a startling turn when the woman confided she had been struggling with suicidal thoughts.

“That comment had the potential to strike fear within me,” Erstad recalls. “But instead, I chose to lean into compassion. I told her, ‘As a human I have the greatest sympathy for you, but as your boss it sounds like this job is too much for you in your current mental state.’” Together, they arrived at the decision that resignation was the healthiest choice. That conversation, Erstad says, underscored the power of emotional intelligence as a leadership tool.

Rethinking the Role of Emotion at Work

One of the most persistent misconceptions about professional life, especially for women, is that emotions have no place in the office. The prevailing message? Toughen up. Erstad disagrees. “A woman’s strength does not lie in her ability to be tough but in her ability to embrace compassion, grace, and understanding in high-stress scenarios,” she says. “Humans do not exist separately from their emotions. My book gives perspective and strategies to incorporate emotions in the workplace as a supporting tool instead of a distraction.”

This philosophy runs counter to the archetype of the “hard-nosed” executive. Instead, It’s Not That Deep offers readers strategies for using emotional intelligence to create safer, more authentic spaces where teams can thrive.

Walking the Line Between Confidence and Vulnerability

Erstad’s writing is infused with both conviction and openness, a balance she acknowledges requires intention. “It is a skill that I have developed and continue to develop,” she explains. “I always reflect and ensure the intention behind my writing is to connect and create momentum beyond myself. If my intentions are pure and to elevate others, I have nothing to be ashamed of.”

For her, vulnerability is not weakness—it’s a practice in authenticity. By reframing it as a means of connection rather than exposure, she’s found a way to write candidly while protecting her own boundaries.

Success Without Fulfillment

Even as more women achieve academic and professional milestones, many still feel unseen in their emotional and relational lives. Erstad encourages readers in this position to bring vulnerability into their personal relationships. “So frequently we are too busy consumed by our professional goals we do not take the time to acknowledge what makes us feel seen in our personal lives,” she says. “Do not be afraid to invest in what makes you happy.”

Her advice is deceptively simple, echoing her book’s title: fulfillment doesn’t require overcomplication—it requires intention.

Leadership, Simplified

That theme runs throughout her work. Leadership, Erstad argues, is often made unnecessarily complex. “Your leadership development is about you, but being a leader is not about you at all,” she says. The simple truths she hopes readers take away include not overanalyzing, granting oneself permission to step back, and understanding that leadership is ultimately about service to others.

The Future of Women Leaders

As leadership models continue to evolve, Erstad sees emotional intelligence as the cornerstone of the next generation of women leaders. She hopes her book can play a role in this shift. “I hope emotional intelligence guides our intention in leadership,” she says. “I hope it provides us with the foundation to create safe spaces that allow people to show up authentically and challenge themselves to grow in all aspects of their life—not just professionally.”

Lessons from a Businesswoman

Erstad’s professional journey in healthcare operations and executive leadership has given her a deep well of experience to draw from. “My career has given me the data, credibility, and experience to provide applicable strategies and examples to utilize emotional intelligence as a tool,” she explains. By grounding her book in lived experience, she avoids the abstraction that can make leadership advice feel hollow.

Staying Grounded

Balancing business, writing, and personal growth is no small feat. Erstad leans on rituals to stay centered: journaling, time in nature, working out, and the simple joy of driving with her favorite playlists. “I ebb and flow and balance is not a one-size-fits-all approach,” she says. Her adaptability, paired with intentional self-reflection, helps her avoid burnout while maintaining focus on her broader vision.

What’s Next

Erstad is not slowing down. Alongside preparing a revised edition of It’s Not That Deep, she is finalizing her second book and actively working on a third. She envisions creating a connected series of leadership books that meet readers emotionally, spiritually, and professionally. Each installment, she says, will serve as a reminder that “you’re not alone in your growth.”

Building a Broader Conversation

Looking ahead, Erstad is determined to contribute to the wider conversation about women’s voices, emotional intelligence, and authentic leadership. “My greatest strength lies in creating spaces that amplify individual strengths while generating collective momentum,” she says. Her goal is to normalize conversations around burnout prevention and to help leaders embrace emotions not as a liability, but as a source of power.

In other words, Erstad isn’t simply writing about emotional intelligence—she’s modeling it. With It’s Not That Deep, she invites leaders of all backgrounds to rethink their assumptions, embrace compassion, and remember that sometimes the simplest truths are the most transformative.

Find out more about Emily and her work at www.eepublications.com and stay connected with her latest projects and insights.