By: Alva Ree
Her IG: https://www.instagram.com/ssofiia.mu
Growing up in a small city, I often felt confined, yearning to break free and explore the world beyond. At 17, I took my first leap, moving to Kyiv and later to Odesa—not just for adventure, but for self-discovery. My journey through love and heartbreak taught me some of life’s most valuable lessons: understanding boundaries and recognizing self-worth. Today, I want to share my story, in the hopes that it will inspire others facing similar struggles.
Throughout much of my early life, I found myself in long-term relationships, unsure of what I truly wanted. I knew the kind of love I desired, but I often failed to protect my boundaries or stand up for myself. Over the course of a decade, I experienced toxic relationships, painful breakups, and periods of deep depression. I sought help through therapy and embarked on a path of self-reflection, slowly transforming from a girl from a small province into a confident woman who understands her worth.
Photo Courtesy: Ellen Tomchenko
One significant relationship was with a wealthy partner. At first, I felt incredibly fortunate, but as time passed, I realized there was no respect for me. I became dependent on him, drained of my energy, unable to express my needs, or simply say “no.” When I finally found the courage to leave, I felt lost. I vividly remember sitting alone in an airport in Qatar, facing canceled flights and feeling utterly abandoned as my ex-boyfriend ignored my messages. That moment was a turning point—a painful but necessary step toward my independence. It marked the beginning of a new chapter, one that would eventually lead me to Poland, where I spent six months rebuilding my life, and later to the United States.
Another painful chapter was a three-month relationship filled with gaslighting. The man I was with seemed perfect at first—showering me with affection, sending texts, flowers, and offering support. But when he suddenly withdrew all attention, I was left feeling guilty and confused, convinced that I was the problem. This experience taught me how dangerous gaslighting can be, eroding your sense of self and making you doubt your reality. I realized how subtle manipulation can be, and how it leaves you questioning your worth.
Reflecting on these experiences, I recognize that they began with my very first relationship. He was older, charming, and gradually isolated me from my family and discouraged my dreams of higher education. His manipulation led me to question my value and lose sight of my aspirations. It took years of hardship and reflection, but I learned that it is far better to stand alone than to remain in toxic relationships. The fear of losing love and being alone can be overwhelming, but I can assure you that reclaiming your power is worth every struggle.
Photo Courtesy: Ellen Tomchenko
After 12 years of navigating these challenges, I’m now in a position to use my experiences for something meaningful. I’m working on a project dedicated to helping women escape toxic relationships and truly understand their own desires. This initiative will provide resources and strategies to empower women to build healthy, fulfilling relationships that align with their goals. My mission is to help others discover their strength, stand firm in their standards, and reclaim their power in love and life.
If you are going through similar challenges, know that change is possible. You don’t have to remain stuck in a cycle of toxic love. You, too, have the power to rewrite your story and build the life you deserve. No matter how lost you may feel, there is always a way forward. It’s time to embrace your strength and break free from the relationships that hold you back.
With my project, I aim to be a guiding hand for women who feel trapped, just as I once did. Together, we can learn to set boundaries, understand our desires, and build relationships rooted in respect and mutual support. You are not alone in your journey, and I am here to remind you that your worth is undeniable. It’s time to step into your power.
Published by: Nelly Chavez
